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Caring for the Birth Mother in Adoption

December 17, 2013

PregnantHere at the Miriam Project, we believe that providing loving care for expectant/birth mothers is as important as caring for the babies and the adoptive families. We thought you might like to know about the services and support that we provide to the women who place a child through the Miriam Project. All services are provided to the birth parents free of charge. When you financially support Miriam Project, you not only become our partner in providing relief to people in need, but you help keep adoption affordable, making sure that these beautiful children can be placed in loving homes.

First Contact
Expectant mothers come to the Miriam Project from a variety of walks of life. When we are first contacted by an expectant mother, we set up a meeting between her and our case worker, Brooke. Brooke spends some time getting to know the expectant mother. Brooke asks the expectant mother why she is considering adoption and helps her understand exactly what is involved in adoption. We understand that placing a child for adoption is a very personal decision and we want to make sure the expectant mother has all of the facts. We never want her to feel pressured in any way.

During the Pregnancy
If the expectant mother continues to feel that adoption may be the right choice for her after the first meeting, Brooke continues to meet with her regularly. If needed, we provide the expectant mother with contacts for prenatal care and affordable pregnancy insurance. We also help her assess immediate needs such as employment, housing, and food and provide resources and support as needed. Brooke has done everything from helping expectant mothers pick out apartments to teaching them how to buy healthy groceries on a budget. Throughout this whole process, Brooke serves as a confidant and a sounding board and she regularly helps the expectant mother asses her feelings toward adoption and address the feelings of grief she may be experiencing.

About eight weeks from the due date, the expectant mother begins looking through the profiles of families hoping to adopt. She also has the option to interview the families personally and she gets to choose which family will adopt her child. She has the choice to decide what level of openness she would like to have with the adoptive family. We help facilitate communication between the birth mother and adoptive families.

As the due date approaches, Brooke works with the expectant mother to set up a birth plan. If the birth mother prefers, someone from the Miriam Project can be present at the hospital during birth. The birth mother also has the option to decide how much time she would like to spend with the baby before the baby is placed in the care of the adoptive family. Before she leaves the hospital, we provide the birth mother with a care package to take home. This care package includes things like personal care items, music, snacks, a journal and some items for entertainment. It also includes a handmade blanket (see pictures below). We know that a simple basket filled with comfort items can never fill the loss of not having her child with her but we believe it is one way to encourage her to care for herself and allow herself to grieve.

Care Package 1Care Package 2

After Delivery
Our relationship with the birth mother does not end after she has delivered the baby. We tell every birth mother that we are available to them for the life of the child. After the baby is born, we help facilitate communication between the birth mother and adoptive family according to the agreement they set up initially. We also provide support to the birth mother to help her get back on her feet after the delivery. For us, caring for the birth mother is as important as caring for anyone else.

Once again, all services are provided to the birth parents free of charge. When you financially support Miriam Project, you not only become our partner in providing relief to people in need, but you help keep adoption affordable, making sure that these beautiful children can be placed in loving homes. Also, if you knit, crochet, or quilt and would like to provide handmade blankets for the care packages, please fill out the contact form below and put the word “blanket” in the comment box and we will get in contact with you.

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